Frequently Asked Questions

Question:

What can I do if my child won't eat? (1-5 Year Olds)

Many children go through phases of refusing to eat certain foods or at times refusing to eat anything at all.

This is particularly common in children up to the age of 5 years, but may occur at any time. It is often a way of showing independence ("the terrible twos") and is a normal part of growing up.

Although it is very worrying, children will not harm themselves if they do not eat enough for a short while. They may need less to eat than you think.

Children can be taught to like any food; they are influenced by the people and culture surrounding them. Japanese children would happily eat raw fish, French children may like frogs legs and English children minted lamb. If you surround your child with loads of positive messages about certain foods, they will be very likely to eat and like them.

What you can do:

It may help to discuss the problem with other parents who have already gone through the same situation with their child.

If the problem shows no signs of improving, or if you are worried about your child's weight and growth, you can contact your Health Visitor, GP, or Dietitian for further advice.

Offer regular meals and snacks, as this is better than letting your child "pick" through the whole day.
You should have fixed meals and snack time; try not to let them vary more than 30 minutes either way each day.
Don't allow your child to snack or nibble 1 hour before or after a meal or snack time.
As an example: 7.30am Breakfast, 10.00am Morning Snack, 12.30pm lunch, 3.00pm Afternoon Snack, 5.00pm Dinner (With bed-time around 7.30pm).

Eat at the same time as your child if possible, as he will learn from you. Try and make them enjoyable, social occasions - Make it fun!

Sit at the table if possible and use brightly coloured and attractive plates and cups.

Do not ban sweets but keep them for special times and only give in moderate quantities.

Try to eat in a calm, relaxed area, without television! - Children are easily distracted.

Try not to rush a meal, as your child may be slow to eat, yet do not let meals drag on for too long - half hour is about right. If the mealtime is over and progress is not being made simply clear things away without fuss.

Aim for manageable portions. What you feel your child should be able to eat and what he/she are prepared to eat may be quite different. Give small portions and allow your child to finish the plate. Give praise and allow your child to ask for more if still hungry. Children should be encouraged to help themselves.

Encourage your child to eat the same food as the rest of the household. You can involve your child in choosing the menu but only do this well in advance of the meal. Once the choice has been made stick to it and DO NOT cook or prepare alternatives at the last minute.

The right attitude:

Never force a child to eat.

Your child is telling you when he/she has had enough when:

He/she turns his/her head away

He/she pushes the bowl or plate away or onto the floor!

He/she screams or shouts

He/she spits food out repeatedly

He/she holds his/her mouth and refuses to swallow it.

Try not to show that you are worried or annoyed by your child not eating. Although it is a very difficult thing to do, if your child is not eating, take the food away without comment.

It is a good idea for children to use their fingers to play with food, do not worry if they make a mess. If your child stops eating at a meal time, try once to encourage him to take a little more, if this is successful show him that you are pleased (Say "Good Boy/Girl, Well Done") and smile. Offer a reward such as taking him/her to the park later or spending some special time playing together.
Do not offer a reward of food.

How to address bad eating behaviour:

Always reward good behaviour and ignore bad behaviour. Reward good table manners e.g. using cutlery properly, talking quietly and eating, with plenty of praise.
Try to ignore poor behaviour such as throwing food, cutlery and rowdiness; as long as the child and others are safe, there is no harm in ignoring your child until the end of a meal.
If the behaviour is too poor then address it Calmly, make the situation safe and ignore any more bad behaviour un till the end of the meal.
Look for any good change of behaviour and praise to encourage your child in behaving better.
In time your child will realise that the easy way to get a positive reaction from you is to behave well and that there is no "pay off" for bad behaviour.
In the long term try and involve your child more in shopping and cooking. Let him/her wash or peel the fruit and vegetables, allow your child to watch you when preparing foods and talk them through what you are doing, ask them to help lay or clear the table.
You could be impressed by how much your child can enjoy making themselves "useful" around mealtimes.


Which foods do I give when?

Fizzy drinks, squash and other drinks can fill a child up as can crisps, biscuits and cakes, so he/she has a small appetite for foods at mealtimes. Avoid giving them at or close to mealtimes.

While a child is being fussy and refusing foods, it is best not to offer new foods. Finger foods are easier to manage when a child can feed him or herself.

Try sandwiches, sausages, cheese slices or soft cheese, fish fingers, vegetable slices and pieces of fruit.

Give small portions of food at mealtimes. If these are finished offer more. Do Not take food away and offer a completely diff rent meal if the first one is refused..

Milk is a nutritious drink - aim for about a pint a day. But this should not replace meals. Be careful not to let your child drink excessive amounts of milk in the day or at night.

Healthy Eating for 1-5 years Old

Milk and Dairy Foods:

Try to give a pint of full fat milk daily. Try cheese, yogurts, fromage frais, custard and milk puddings as good alternatives to some of the milk. Children over 5 should drink semi-skimmed milk.

Meat and alternatives:

All types of meat and fish are suitable. Many children enjoy mince meat, sausages, chicken, fish fingers and fish in sauces. Plus vegetables like chick peas and lentils make good casseroles. Eggs and baked beans are good too.

Starchy foods:

Give these foods at each meal. Most children enjoy eating breakfast cereals and porridge. Other starchy foods to encourage include bread, potatoes, chapatti, yam, pasta, tinned spaghetti and rice.

Fruit and vegetables:

Try to give 5 small portions of fruit and vegetables each day. One portion is about the same size as your child's fist. Fruit and vegetables can be cooked or raw. All types, fresh, dried, tinned in fruit juice, or as juice is good.

Fats and oil:

Growing children still need margarine/butter and oils in moderate amounts, try not to give too much saturated fat (fried foods, chips, nuggets, crisps, fatty meats) and prefer healthy fats e.g. olive oil, oily fish like salmon, sardines, tuna, avocado pear and nuts. NB Do not give whole nuts to a young child as there is a risk of choking e.g. under 5's. If there is a family history of allergy then discuss with your GP or Health Visitor.

Sugary Foods:

Foods containing sugar are often part of a child's diet. Try not to give them between meals and only give in moderate amounts.

Vitamins:

A vitamin supplement, containing vitamins A, C, D is recommended for all children from 6 months up to at least 2 years and preferably 5 years. Ask your Health Visitor, GP or dietitian about this.

Try a variety of foods for a well balanced diet.

Suggestions to help you are;

Breakfast

Small bowl of breakfast cereal and milk
Toasted fingers with butter/margarine and/or jam/honey and milk to drink
Muesli and yogurt

Lunch

Sandwiches in bite size shapes e.g. ham and tomato, cheese and cucumber, peanut butter and banana, baked beans or cheese on toast.
Small pot of yogurt, fromage frais or fruit
Water or diluted fruit juice

Meal Time

Pasta dishes e.g. Macaroni cheese, spaghetti bolognese.
Chapatti/rice and curry.
Fish in white, cheese or parley sauce
Roast Meat or mince e.g. shepherds pie.
Grilled fish fingers/grilled chicken nuggets
Served with fingers of carrots, swede...
Or peas and a scoop of mash potato.
Fruit Segments/Slices/Shapes.
Water or diluted fruit juice.

Bed Time

Milk and a slice of toast or plain biscuit.

Written by Eve Lauri (community nutritionist) and Patrick Friel (Dietitian) - November 2005